


I'm Marking It Down To Learning

by AndIFeelStupid



Series: Bed of Lies Series [3]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Love/Hate, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-27
Updated: 2013-06-27
Packaged: 2017-12-16 09:29:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/860581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndIFeelStupid/pseuds/AndIFeelStupid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis feels protective of Zayn, Harry feels protective of Louis, and Liam finally makes an appearance.<br/>Things always have to get worse before they get better and Louis can't seem to realize that.</p><p>(More smut, yay!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Marking It Down To Learning

He hadn’t planned on getting into it, because it really wasn’t of his business, but as soon as Louis bumped into Liam on campus, it just kind of came out.

“You’re a real fucking prick, you know that.”

Liam drew back, startled and frowned at Louis in confusion. At his best, Louis wasn’t the most intimidating, and he was currently wearing sweatpants and one of Zayn’s tanks. Louis’ only credit to his toughness was his biceps, which were illustrated quite nicely in said tank so he felt pretty confident in that department. But he’d gone to the effort to do a quiff and put his contacts in, so he wasn’t really interested in an actual fistfight. If it came do defending Zayn’s honour though, he’d do anything.

“Excuse me?”

Well almost anything. Liam was a whole head and shoulders taller than him and completely made of muscle and Louis felt a pang of fear. But where Louis lacked in muscle and height, he made up for in attitude and it appeared Liam was the exact opposite. Liam was still frowning in a puzzled manner as Louis jabbed him in the chest with an aggressive index finger.

“You. Are. A. Shit.” Louis growled. “Do you have any idea how upset Zayn is right now?”

And just like that, Liam’s expression of confusion crumpled to one of shame and utter sadness.

“You’re Louis, aren’t you?”

“Damn right I am. I’ve known Zayn all my life and I haven’t seen him this moody since I killed his pet goldfish so you have some explaining to do.”

Liam bows his head and nods somberly.

“Let’s get a coffee. I feel like this is an uncomfortable talk to be having in the middle of the grounds.” Liam mutters.

Louis nods stiffly.

“Lead the way then.”

Liam sighs heavily and they begin walking to the café closest to campus in silence.

“I can almost imagine what you must think of me right now.” Liam says gently, like he’s trying to placate Louis or something.

Louis shrugs impassively and watches a bird flit overhead in the trees lining the grounds.

“I don’t think to highly of you, that’s for damn certain.” He replies coldly.

Liam just nods again.

“I can respect that.”

Liam’s making it very difficult for Louis to hate him and that makes Louis angry, but he has no idea where to direct his anger, so as he and Liam enter the café, they pass Aiden on the way out, who smiles and waves at Louis who just stares back blankly until Aiden looks away. Louis is in no mood to play nice today, he just really isn’t.

“Sit, I’ll grab us coffee.”

Liam gestures to two comfy armchairs by the window and Louis lowers into one, eyeing Liam suspiciously.

“I’m not gunna run off or anything I swear. I’m just trying to be nice.” Liam finally says, frustrated.

Louis smirks and shrugs. 

“S’long as you’re paying.”

He tosses his chin up in a snotty manner but Liam just nods again and heads to the counter without another word.

“New guy?”

Aiden plops in the chair across from Louis and scowls. Louis scoffs.

“Hardly.”

“What’re you doing with him then? I don’t remember us ever going out for coffee.”

Aiden frowns a little and Louis groans.

“You don’t even like coffee Aiden.”

Louis makes shooing motions with his hands, flapping them at Aiden until he stands.

“I’m having a meeting so to speak, now bugger off.” Louis says in the most polite tone he can muster.

Which isn’t very.

“Fine, I’ll see you around then.”

Aiden jams his hands in his pockets and skulks off to the exit, while Liam wanders back, two steaming mugs of coffee in his hands.

“I don’t know what you put in your coffee, but I always have mine black.”

Liam sets down the coffee as well as a small handful of creamers and packets of sugar and Louis is actually touched by his thoughtfulness. “I usually take a load of cream and sugar, thanks.”

Louis rips open the packets and begins dumping the sugar and cream in his coffee while Liam swirls the contents of his own cup around without drinking. Only once Louis lifts his coffee to take sip does Liam take one too.

“So,” Louis starts, setting his drink down. “What’s going on with Zayn?” He asks.

Liam rubs his face with both hands, like he’s exhausted, and exhales heavily.

“First off, I have to admit, I like Zayn. I really, really do, in fact I’m a little bit mad for him.”

Liam laughs self-consciously and goes back to swirling his coffee.

“But,” Louis prompts.

“But…I’ve been with Danielle since high school. I don’t know anything else, you know? I don’t know how to flirt, how to win someone over, hell I don’t even know how to break up with Danielle because the thought is terrifying.”

Louis nods empathically, thinking of Nick.

“I get that Liam, I totally do. But do you even love Danielle anymore? Or at all?”

Liam looks up at Louis guiltily and the answer is all over his face before he even speaks.

“No. No I don’t. I don’t even know if I ever did.”

He laughs bitterly now, without any trace of real humour and sips his coffee.

“In fact I think I was just in love with the idea of being in love. Stupid teenage shit, you know?”

Louis nods because, yeah he really does know.

“And Zayn is, well fuck he’s perfect isn’t he?” Liam says, his eyes going a bit unfocused and faraway.

Louis smiles genuinely now. “Yeah, he’s a pretty amazing guy.” He agrees warmly.

“He’s all I think about, really. But I don’t know how to settle this… _thing_ with Danielle. I mean we live together, for Christ’s sake. I thought I was going to marry her when I grew up. My parents adore her, and well in regards to my parents-”

“-Let me guess. They wouldn’t support you having a boyfriend.” Louis cut in.

Liam nods. “My dad’s the biggest homophobe I know.” Liam admits, staring into his cup as he speaks, with an expression like he wants to drown himself and all his problems within the half-full mug of bitter coffee.

He also looks like he wants to cry and Louis sets aside his coffee and pulls Liam in to hug him fiercely. Liam makes a startled sound and then sets his coffee down and hugs Louis back just as forcefully.

“I’m so sorry Liam I had no idea.” Louis breathes.

He feels Liam shrug and bury his face into Louis neck. 

“S’not your fault. You were just defending Zayn. I would’ve done the same, you know.”

Louis pulls back and smiles gently, holding out his hand to Liam.

“Yeah I was. But I should have taken the time to consider you had your reasons.”

Liam shook Louis hand and smiled tentatively at him.

“I’d love to fix things with him if it isn’t too late.”

Louis beams back.

“I don’t think it’s too late at all.” He says gently.

Then he glances at the clock and swears under his breath.

“But I’m gunna be late. For class. Thanks for the coffee Liam, and everything else.”

Louis grabs his cup and smiles shyly as Liam stands and grabs his cup too.

“I’ve got to head home, I’ve got a test to study for. Here,” Liam holds out his cellphone to Louis. “Put your number in, we’ll talk more about this later?”

Louis nods and quickly punches in his number, adds his name with a smiley face and hands it back.

“Sounds good to me, mate.” He says. Then he turns and begins to jog out of the café.

“Oh, and Louis?”

Louis turns back to look where Liam is standing shyly by the armchairs.

“Yeah?”

“Zayn’s got a great friend in you. You’re a really lovely person.”

Louis blushes and rubs the back of his neck, ducking his head a little.

“Well thanks, means a lot.”

He smiles and turns away again.

“Bye Liam.” He calls over his shoulder.

Liam chuckles lightly.

"Bye Louis.”

 

 

 

☼

 

 “Where the hell were you?”

Sure, _now_ Zayn takes the time out of his very busy ‘sleeping and fucking’ schedule to show up for history class. Louis shrugs and slinks in beside Harry. He doesn’t fancy being sandwiched between a protective mother hen Zayn and a sleepy Harry who’s in no state to defend him, so he begins taking notes.

“I saw you talking to Aiden when I passed the café, so much for avoiding him.” Zayn adds darkly in response to Louis’ dignified silence, taking Louis’ coffee off his desk to take a sip.

Harry sits up and actually wipes drool off his face, turning to face Louis and Zayn.

“You were talking to Aiden?”

Harry looks so offended and betrayed and Louis internally damns Zayn to fieriest pits of hell imaginable, because he did not under any circumstances want to deal with this kind of shit at 10 in the fucking morning.

“Bumped into him going into the café. Its nothing Harry, really.”

Louis pats Harry’s arm gently and snatches his coffee away from Zayn.

“Did he want anything or...” Harry prompts.

“Just asked how I was doing, you know. We’re mates still, I just need to give him some space so he gets the hint we’re not _those_ kind of mates anymore, you know?”

Harry nods very seriously, his forehead still creased in a frown and Louis pokes his frown lines affectionately.

“You’re adorable when you’re jealous Styles, really.” He teases.

Harry rolls his eyes. 

“Piss off.” He mutters.

Zayn snags Louis’ coffee again and takes a bigger gulp.

“Christ Lou, you put so much goddamn sugar in this, it’s revolting.” He complains, setting it back on Louis’ desk.

“Gee Zayn, I’m so sorry you don’t like the taste of _my_ coffee.” Louis grumbles.

Zayn rolls his eyes and rests his head on his desk.

“Don’t let Aiden make you feel guilty like he did last time, eh? You know it’s not your fault. Guy’s got issues.”

Louis nods in agreement and Zayn sighs and leans against him.

“Boy does he ever.” Louis murmurs.

“I still find it peculiar that he has the same last name as-”

“-Don’t.” Louis cuts in sharply, sitting up suddenly and staring Zayn down. “Don’t you fucking dare.”

He’s embarrassed that his voice wavers and cracks, but he still glares at Zayn with all the venom he possesses.

“Jesus, _still_? When the hell are you going to let it go? Louis it’s been _two years_.”

Louis stands, grabbing his messenger bag and stuffing his papers into it.

“Zayn, I love you and all but,” Louis huffs out, still stuffing his bag “you can honestly be the biggest asshole sometimes.”

He swings his bag over his shoulder, narrowly missing Harry’s face, who’s leaned back, watching the entire scene with a confused and concerned expression.

“Louis.”

Zayn’s expression is pained, and he snatches Louis arm in the tightest grip his can muster.

“God, Lou I’m so sorry, it’s been a rough morning, hell, it’s been a rough week, what with all this shit with Liam, I didn’t mean it, ok? I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

Louis says nothing, just wrenches his arm free of Zayn’s grasp and stalks out of the lecture and heads off across the campus, angry tears filling in his eyes.

He hears the crunch of gravel under Zayn’s feet as he follows after him.

“Louis!”

Louis spins around to see Harry, not Zayn hurrying over to him in big strides, his own bag messily tossed over his shoulder, papers and pens falling out as he jogs over to Louis.

“I just want to be alone right now, ok?” Louis spits, scrubbing at his face with his hand.

“No.” Harry says.

Louis glares at him.

“Excuse me?” He growls.

“You heard me. I said no. I think you’re left alone too often Louis. You’ve been left alone long enough.”

Harry reaches out and takes Louis’ hand in his.

“I’m not some damsel in distress, Harry. I don’t need fixing, or saving or any of that romantic bullshit you believe in.”

Harry rolls his eyes and steps closer to Louis. “I never said you needed fixing or saving. I just think you’re alone too much. Nobody should be alone, weather they believe in _romantic bullshit_ or not.”

And before Louis can spit back some angry retort or apologize for mocking what Harry believes in; Harry leans down and kisses him. And its so strange, to stand outside in the frosty morning, shivering because he’d forgotten his sweater, having Harry clutching his face in his hands, kissing him as tenderly as he’d done the first time he’d kissed Louis. That seemed like a billion years ago now, and Louis found himself kissing back, his lips almost moving on their own accord. The night they’d first kissed, Louis had had the leverage to make that kiss dirty and purely sexual.

He couldn’t with this kiss and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to. He liked the way Harry cradled his face rather than running his hands all over his body and squeezing his ass. He liked how he could wind his arms around Harry’s neck and pull him closer so their noses bumped and he could feel Harry laugh into their kiss, and encircle his arms around Louis’ waist to pull him closer and this kiss held a promise, but it wasn’t a promise of something sexual or anything of that ilk, and so Louis was left wondering what other promise there could be. Harry pulled back too soon, (much too soon in Louis’ opinion) and smiled gently.

“Let’s go back to mine, make something to eat and watch movies all day.” He suggested.

Louis grinned back. 

“Sounds brilliant. Lead the way.”

Harry nodded and wound his fingers through Louis’ and tugged him in the direction of the bus stop.

“Do you do holding hands?” Harry asks teasingly, holding up their twined fingers as he speaks.

Louis shrugs.

“I guess I do.” He replies.

 

 

 

☼

 

 Harry ends up picking a generic horror movie that they don’t pay attention to, but Louis kind of suspects that may have been his plan all along. Regardless, as soon as Louis was lying on Harry’s little twin bed in his dorm room (the bed was so small Harry had to curl up to fit on it), watching the movie with no real amount of interest, Harry lay practically on top of Louis and began lazily palming him through his sweats. Louis shifted his hips around to keep himself from bucking up into Harry’s touch, ergo looking desperate, and Harry began to plant little kisses along his neck.

“Your lovebites are fading.” Harry informs him, poking at his pulse point and frowning adorably.

“Well why don’t you touch them up then?” Louis suggests airily, tilting his chin up to give Harry better access.

“Thought you’d never ask.” Harry purrs.

“Yeah, well, I’m pretty thoughtful.” Louis quips sarcastically.

Harry chuckles but says nothing, just presses an openmouthed kiss over a fading lovebite and begins sucking on it, still palming at Louis’ growing erection, squeezing him ever so gently through the soft material.

“It’s a shame,” Louis begins “this movie had such an interesting plotline.”

Harry snorts and lifts his head from Louis’ collarbone to roll his eyes at the older boy. 

“It’s a shitty slasher film from the nineties, I don’t think we’re really missing out.”

They both turn their gazes just in time to watch very fake looking blood splatter across the screen. Louis laughs.

“Ok, you win.” He says, raising his hands in mock defeat.

Harry beams and sits up.

“Do I get a prize?” He asks with a wicked smirk curling on his sinful lips.

Louis pretends to ponder Harry’s question.

“My arse?” He suggests, running his hand down Harry’s torso and back up to playfully tweak a nipple.

“If you want, that is.” He coos teasingly, squeezing Harry’s cock through his trousers.

Harry blinks. Then his eyes seem to narrow, darken a little too, and he yanks Louis’ sweats and boxer briefs down in one urgent go.

“Whoa, little needy there, aren’t we?” Louis teases.

Harry says nothing, just pulls Louis’ tank over his head and slaps his hip urgently.

“Turn over.” He growls.

Nearly shivering in excitement, Louis does as he’s told, but does it slowly. Harry grabs him roughly and pushes him down into the mattress before climbing behind him, still fully clothed.

“Hey, you aren’t undressed yet, this isn’t fair.” Louis complains.

“Shut up Louis.”

Harry’s running his hands up and down Louis’ thighs, grasping them and then running his hands up and over Louis’ arse, kneading at the flesh and squeezing handfuls, pulling his cheeks apart and Louis quivers. Harry chuckles quietly to himself.

“Always so eager for it, aren’t you Louis? For my fingers, my _tongue_.”

Louis whimpers and buries his face into the pillows. He was never one for dirty talk, not even with Nick but he loves the way Harry’s voice will drop a few more octaves and become thick with arousal. It does something to Louis’ insides, like that drop after you’re at the highest part of the rollercoaster, like the way you’d feel if you jumped from a cliff and submerged yourself in the most turbulent of waters. It pulls Louis down so quickly; drags him under and it’s all he can do to breathe. He thinks he vaguely hears the pop of a bottle cap opening, and he feels Harry’s cock drag up his thigh and he realizes Harry hasn’t even bothered with undressing, he’s just pulled his dick out of his trousers and that’s a lot hotter than it ought to be. Then a wet finger is circling his hole, teasing at it, not quite slipping in and Louis grumbles into the pillow.

“Hold yourself open for me.” Harry demands.

On-screen, the movie has hit an intense scene, Louis can hear screaming and he feels bitterly envious. He’d really like to be screaming right about now.

“You’re a fucking tease.” He informs Harry as he reaches his hands behind himself and pulls his cheeks apart. Harry merely moans in response.

“You look good enough to eat, Louis.” Harry rumbles lowly.

“Well get on with it then.” Louis shoots back.

He expects another cheeky response or more teasing, but he just gets hot breath against his skin and then, _oh._

Louis moans and buries his face in the pillows again to stifle the noise.

“No.”

Harry moves away and yanks Louis’ head up by his hair.

“Wanna hear you.”

It comes out so soft and gentle but Louis knows it’s an order and he nods feebly. Then Harry’s licking at his rim again, teasing it gently, tickling it almost and Louis lets out a high-pitched moan. Harry laughs a little and then runs the flat of his tongue over Louis’ hole and then blows coolly on it. Louis feels his thighs tremble. He feels so vulnerable, the side of his face pressed against the mattress, on his knees, his arse up in the air while he holds himself open, on display for Harry and he feels naked in every sense of the word. That combined with the way Harry is lapping at his hole, thrusting his tongue inside and blowing and nibbling at his rim makes his eyes water, and something aches deep within his abdomen, but it doesn’t feel like the need to release. The credits for the movie are rolling while Harry presses gentle bites and kisses all over the back of Louis’ thighs, and Louis gazes absently at the wall in his line of vision, wondering how in the hell it went from such hot foreplay, to him feeling utterly numb.

“Lou? _Louis_!”

Louis feels himself being wrenched up into a sitting position and turned around, and Harry has this look of complete horror and distress on his face and Louis can’t figure out why for the life of him. Then he realizes his face is wet. _Oh._

“Have I hurt you?” Harry asks quietly, and all Louis can think of is how Nick never asked that. Not once.

“No.” Louis laughs wetly. “Not yet.”

Harry looks confused and Louis mops his face.

“It’s ok, Harry I’m fine.”

Harry frowns.

“You don’t look fine. You didn’t sound fine when you were sobbing.”

Louis rubs his neck and prays his acting skills can actually hold up, just this once.

“I know, it’s just…it’s kind of like a release? I don’t know how to explain it, it’s dead annoying, and I know that. I’m sorry but sometimes that happens. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel good or I’m not enjoying myself, really.”

Harry says nothing; just thumbs away a stray tear on Louis face and looks him square in the eye.

“Promise?” He checks.

Louis nods.

“Promise.”

Then he glances down, at Harry’s cock, hanging obscenely out of his trousers.

“But honestly, we need to get you out of your clothes Harry, come on.”

Harry laughs in response and tugs his shirt off, tugs off his trousers and it becomes clear he was going commando underneath and Louis smiles to himself because that’s just so like Harry. He expects Harry to push him down, maybe roll him over again, but Harry pulls Louis into his lap and cradles him gently, running his hands up and down Louis’ spine, pressing kisses along his collarbones and Louis looks down at his tangled mane of curls and wonders how Harry must feel about being so into a guy who can’t even return his feelings.

“Why did you even bother with me?” Louis demands.

Harry looks up from Louis’ collarbones with a perplexed and somewhat offended expression.

“I beg your pardon?”

Louis huffs and slams Harry down against the mattress by his chest, satisfied at the little _oompf_ that escapes Harry’s lips as the wind is knocked out of him.

“I’m a basket case.” Louis singsongs. “People can’t get close to me, I don’t do _feelings_ , and then you just casually meander into my life and suddenly develop feelings for the _one_ person in the whole bloody campus who cannot and will not return them.”

Harry gapes openly at Louis like a fish and says nothing.

“Maybe you’re just as fucked up as I am, Styles. That’s okay though, misery loves company.”

And before Harry can say anything in response, Louis leans down and seals their lips. Harry kisses back urgently, reaching up to cup Louis’ face in both hands and Louis feels like Harry’s trying to convey a message in his kiss, make it tender and sweet again, but Louis does not want that. He pulls back, and grabs a hold of Harry’s cock and Harry’s hips jolt up in response, a tiny cry escaping Harry’s lips. Louis presses the blunt head to his hole and slowly sinks down, swatting away Harry’s hands as Harry goes to reach for his hips.

“Lie still.” Louis orders.

Harry nods and then looks guilty, as if he feels like he wasn’t supposed to nod if he was meant to be staying still. Once Louis is fully seated he takes deep breaths, trying to focus on how full he feels rather than the pain he feels from the lack of decent prep or lubrication. But it’s gotten to the point where he doesn’t care. He just wants to fuck Harry and leave; he wants to show Harry he is in control. He can leave any time he wants to. Harry’s staring up at Louis with wide eyes, biting his bottom lip so hard it’s turning white and Louis breathes out heavily, lifts himself up and then slams back down, a dry sob escaping his lips. Harry whines, his arms jerking like he’s actually holding himself back from touching Louis.

Louis ignores that and begins a steady rhythm; grateful for the fact Harry has been leaking precome this whole time because it’s making Louis’ job marginally easier, and he begins to pick up his pace, deliberately clenching around Harry, desperate to make him come so he can just climb off of this stupid, beautiful boy and leave already, and Harry’s head is thrown back, his eyes squeezed shut and Louis stares down at Harry’s face, wondering how in the hell he wound up here, why he’d chosen to chase after Louis, and what the hell was he even imagining with his eyes screwed shut like that? Was he picturing someone else? Was he imagining what sex would be like with Louis if Louis actually liked him back? Sex was sex, and it didn’t feel different depending on the situation, it felt different depending on the person. Breakup sex with Nick was like all the other times, only Louis was crying through most of it, and he woke up alone afterwards for the very first time ever. His habit of leaving other people’s bedsides probably stemmed from that, and as he slammed himself down on Harry’s cock again, he realized he was doing the exact same thing to Harry, and he froze.

Harry’s eyes were open now, glazed with lust, his forehead sweaty, and he grabbed Louis’ hips and began fucking up into him in earnest. Louis allows his eyes to slip shut but then Harry’s whining:

“Louis, look at me, _please._ ”

So, Louis opens his eyes.

And he looks at Harry. He really looks at him. He looks at the sweat matting at the boy’s temples; he looks at the flush on his chest and face. He looks at Harry’s mess of chocolate hair, and tangle of necklaces stuck to his sweaty chest and neck. He looks at the way Harry’s clenching his jaw and his eyebrows are furrowed in concentration and his eyes, oh his eyes, dark and focused, boring right back into Louis until Louis feels like he could read Harry’s mind if he tried hard enough. _I’ve seen all of you. And I like what I see_.

Harry’s eyes widen the tiniest bit when Louis bites back a whimper and then they’re coming in unison, in cries and soft moans, and Louis collapses on Harry’s sticky chest, his breath coming out in short gasps, feeling Harry’s come leaking out of him as Harry starts to slide out. But Louis whimpers and Harry stops. Louis doesn’t know what it was that had possessed him to stop Harry from slipping out of him, but he reckons its just because he’s so damn tired of feeling empty all the time.

 

 

 

☼

It’s around 3am when Louis wakes up, and Harry’s still asleep. After they’d lain in silence for a few minutes with come drying on their sweaty skin, Harry had finally, reluctantly, pulled out of Louis and tiptoed off to the bathroom to wet a flannel and clean them up. Then he’d tossed their clothes in a pile by his laundry hamper and tucked Louis under the covers, shut the TV off and climbed in to cuddle right up against Louis, sandwiching him between himself and the wall. Louis had started to protest but Harry had merely said:

“If you think I’m letting you slip off into the night and never speak to me again you’re dead wrong Louis.”

And Louis had felt so guilty, he was still there, when he’d woke with a start to his phone ringing on the floor, over on the other side of the room. Harry was like a deadweight though, and he struggled, climbing up and over the sleeping boy to cross the room and rifle through his clothes until he found his phone so he could answer it.

“Hello?” He whispered as soon as he hit the ‘talk’ button.

“Oh, hello love, is this a bad time?”

Louis dropped his phone and all but backed away from the seemingly innocent device lying on the floor. He knew that smug voice, that breathy sigh of self-importance that came before that person ever started a sentence.

“Darling? Are you still there?”

Nick. 

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my gosh, cliffhanger! Also, Niall will be making a proper appearance with his girlfriend in the next chapter, I'm just stuck on names, so feel free to comment and give me one, I'd appreciate it loads.
> 
> As usual, I love feedback, xx.


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